As an avid romantic comedy enthusiast, when an ain’t shit dude screws me over, I see it as a necessary step to filter out who I’m not supposed to be with. Every time a new guy messes up, I know that it is just God’s way of bringing me closer to meeting my Mr. Big (although debatably he isn’t shit either), my Noah, my Dwane, my Chuck Bass, and basically my one true love.
However, like most movie watchers, I have this problem with always thinking I’ve found “The One” only to be disappointed time and time again. This idea that we all have one soulmate is romantic but terrifying. With that theory, we all only have one shot at happiness, but a billion chances to screw it up. In Sex and the City, they say that everyone gets three great loves in the life. However, if your number is starting to greatly surpass that, it’s scary to think that since all your “the ones” got away, you are now destined to live a life of misery with subpar supplementary people.
So to keep my sanity, I have a different theory that works better in my favor.
What if love is like energy? Something that can not be created or destroyed.
After a heartbreak, we often think that the love we had died, and we’ll never find that feeling again with someone new. Yet somehow, we always do. We go through excruciating emotional pain and, after struggling to piece ourselves back together, something makes us want to retry rummaging through losers and tinder swipes. How can we be so desperate to find that feeling again with someone new, even when it means risking our sanity and fragile freshly healed heart time and time again?
Because there is always someone bigger, better, and better for us on the other side. I’m going out on a limb here and guess that you are a catch, always have been and always will be. As a catch, you’re just getting better with time. As time goes on, you will attract someone who is equally yolked to the newer more evolved you that you need in that stage of life. And don’t worry girl, there are plenty of them out there.
See my theory is that love doesn’t die, rather it grows with you as you do. Like energy, it transfers from person to person in many forms throughout your lifetime. Familial, platonic, sisterly, crushes, puppy love, mentorship, lust, heartbreak, and rebirth. It’s all an evolution of the love you need in that life at the time. The best part about love, like energy, is it’s infinite and boundless.
When we experience heartbreak, we think we lost the only person out there that can complete us. However, there are a million chances to find a new “the one.” Or at least I hope so. In the meantime, enjoy the other types of love nonromantic love that surrounds you. The most important one? Self-love.
Remember love is like energy, not a singular entity.
And until you do find “the one”, you may as well have some fun sifting through a sea of 2s, 8s, 7s, 3s, 69s, and anyone but the one. In the paraphrased words of the fictional Blair Waldorf’s mom on Gossip Girl, “You will never be this hot, this young, or this thin ever again in life, so you might as well make the most of it.”